Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
