I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
