New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
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Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
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just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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