the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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