If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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