Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
high people should be assigned attendants
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
