Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
