in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
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is this the sara with the beer cane?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
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SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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