id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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