how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Sorry about my life...