where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask