Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Dick very happy bro
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
