Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
