i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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