She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
