in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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