I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
