Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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