I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
