she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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