what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
