i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize