go do what you do best...puke behind churches
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
