absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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