Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
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there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
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Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize