you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
