apparently the secret to your success is patron
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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