I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
