my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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