apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Randomize
