I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
