I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
