Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
