Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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