I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
