There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
