His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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