pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
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Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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