I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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