My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
