we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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