Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize