How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
