then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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