So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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