I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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