when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
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Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm just crazy horny about you
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
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So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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