I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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