i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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