This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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