We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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