For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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