I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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