he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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