Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
