The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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