it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you inspire me to be a worse person
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
