Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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